New Moon Posters

Guys!Im so excited when I saw them!sooo goood!And look at Robert's chest!He's really working on it huh!Hotness!hehe.But whether this is an official poster of the movie or just a fan made-poster is yet to be established.But still I dont mind who did this Im so loving it.

Just My Saturday (part2)

Pissed

I took a nap at the van and got interrupted by a full bladder with a painful and super-super hard on by my own friend down there!I don't know what to do!I don't know what it wants why the hell it was erected big time!I want to urinate but the erection was something I don't understand,I'm not even thinking anything sexual at all!

Its like a morning erection when u wake up,except that I don't have morning erections lately.Its aching and its pulsating at the same time LOL!I pressed my bag on it and every time the road gets rough i felt like my urine are ready to come out!Its like waiting for a right moment to squirt even I'm not letting it voluntarily!Now im beginning to think that my d*ck is confused,maybe having stress? (",)

Good thing it was dark inside and nobody sees my deformed and crooked face!I run to the nearest mall,but i cant urinate with my penis so hard like this!I tried!I don't wanna be a kilometer away from the urinal right?LOL so I walked around trying to composed myself,and hiding my erection at my skinny jeans!

I look for distractions.....I saw an old guy,lose all his teeth,imagining kissing him torridly...ewwww!...this is doing good ha....then I saw an old lady,like 60 years old,i tried to imagine her giving me orals and touching her sagged breast that reached her waist already fcked her with her unlubricated folds after...OK!enough of that!!kinda mean hehe!!Thank God it didn't took so long to get distracted and got soft again*sigh*I immediately went at the CR and urinate for all its glory!

I felt like moaning because the urine coming out of my urethra was so good as if it felt like I'm cumming LOL!Why is it that cum are not as many as urine?haha haven't you thought about that ?imagine having cum that many you could be having a heart attack with pleasures,oh,the continuous flow and squirting...it may take as far as the ceiling when it comes!LOL

Just My Saturday (part1)

Happiness!
I have my Twilight Saga copy today!Yehey!Finally after struggling for a while to have my own,since its such a hit,they run out of stock in an instant,now i have all four of them.How did i got them?well i visited www.nationalbookstore.com and registered to their site and I ordered online.I had fun doing it but kinda scary at first,you know,that was my first time shopping online using my credit card.

But there's only one problem,they don't have the book1 (twilight) its frustrating...but i still continue my transaction though,at least i have the other books,maybe i will find the first book in time i thought to myself.After two days,i received the books at my doorstep!I thought it will take a week.It was fast and cheap!Lovely!

Since I'm a pathetic bum of the century,I made it a career to search for the Twilight book today,I went at the Gateway Mall at cubao and I'm decided to look for every bookstore around that area.But thank God when I came in at Fullybooked they have bunch of them!Tons of them at the front!Waaa its like a black castle of Stephenie Meyer!Its like I saw an apparition!Like I saw God!LOL!

I was so happy that i could dance "itik-itik"at the bookstore!hahaha.After having my merienda I went home.Too bad i don't have a date,i had a lot of extra time to kill(anybody?kidding!hehe)

Wolf Pack Revealed

Hey guys the actors playing Jacob Black's wolf pack at the much awaited movie Twilight Saga: New Moon are announced!!!here they are: Tinzel Korey,Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Kiowa Gordon and Tyson Houseman.Honestly I don't know them hahaha.They must be new newcomers.I'm so excited I hope more casting will be announced soon.And I heard Robert Pattinson was injured during filming. He was hit at the back of his head by an object flying from out of nowhere(UFO??!LOL) and have him taken back at his hotel to rest.

Taylor lautner as Jacob Black

Chaske Spencer as Sam Uley

Tyson Houseman as Quil Ateara

Kiowa Gordon as Embry Call

Alex Meraz as Paul(he is so hot by the way!)

Bronson Pelletier as Jarred

Tinsel Korey as Emily

Hayyy I cant shake this obsession with the twilight thing off!Waaaa I think I'm becoming a vampire!LOL

(Thanks celebuzz for the photos)

Startled

Its always fun to be with an old woman once in a while especially if the woman is a "mali-mali" (i don't know the exact English word for them e hehe) you know when they were very calm doing their own thing and something or someone startled them and they will say a rather naughty-funny-words out of surprised and horror!

Some of them are:

"ay puke!"- translation: "oh,vagina!" which is very common by the way.

"ay uten!" - translation:"oh,penis!","oh,dick" or "oh cock!" which is the opposite of the first one.

"ay kabayo!" - translation:"oh horse!"

"ayyyyyyyy!" - translation:"ahhhhh!"<--parang mali! LOL! usually this belongs to people like us(PLU)!haha.This will be very funny if the guy are playing a discreet gay or a straight guy and you'll hear him scream like a girl. It happened to me once when i was watching a horror movie and it was so scary that I screamed a very loud and quicked"ayyyyyyyyyyyyy!"and half the popcorn was on the floor hahaha!

After that I swear to myself to never watch a horror movie with straight friends again!And i practiced a very manly way to be surprise at home in front of the mirror and mastered the art of suppressed fright!haha.Men na men na!

Here's another one:

"Hindutan!!!" - translation:"lets fuck!" i heard this at an old relative of mine.Made me laugh so hard especially when u least expect it to came from her.She's so religious!we were riding a car and suddenly the driver suddenly stepped on the break and the impact was so strong that we fell out of our seats!!She said those words so loud and so long " hindutannnnnnnnnn!!!!!!"

"hindutan ng kabayo!!!" or "hinindot ng kabayo!!!" or "uten ng kabayo!!"- translation: "horses fucking!" and "fucked by a horse" and "horse's cock!" this sounds so sick! haha really hilarious when they combined the two words! I don't know why the horse are so in demand and so special to them!Maybe they like it big?LOL! (totoy mola bah!) or they could use "hindutan ng ipis" ay panget wag nalang kabayo nalang ulit hehe.

and finally my favorite:

"ay puke ni mac!" translation:"oh mac's vagina!" hehehe! I heard this most of the time from my aunt who washes our clothes! natuwa ba daw!haha di na oy masaya ko sa titi ko LOL! (bastush!)


P.S

I wonder why nobody uses "betlog ng kabayo!"? nyahaha korny!

Im Done!

Finally!I've just finished reading the fourth book "Breaking Dawn" from the Twilight Saga of Stephenie Meyer.For a month I've done nothing but to sit in front of my computer and read all books from an ebook download!Imagine how tiring it is and how it made my eyes a bit tired and teary and all!But its worth it.Since I cant find my own hard copy thanks to all bookstore who are so useless for not having lot of stocks!

I'm still hopeful though,that one day I'll find four books and display them at a very nice place on top at my room,you know with candles and flowers with it,you know kinda like my own altar LOL! I kinda like "eclipse" out of all four.It gave me so much time to see the romance and laughters and all the answers about things about them.

Its such a good read,i mean you can easily understand the story instantly.I hope all book will turn into a movie or if not,that they will do a TV series all based on the book and it will be so much fun to see it.Don't you agree with me?With so much good things going on TV now a days i believe this is not a bad idea at all.

I cant wait till its November to see "New Moon".OK enough already,I told myself that i will only write a short entry about this just to let you know that I'm done reading and that Stephenie Meyer is my new "lola" LOL!

Look how pretty she is.Anyway check out her website here.And oh,since I heard about the fifth book entitled "Midnight Sun" i cant stop myself but to search for an ebook copy,and success I found one,I will start reading right about now!And after this I will start Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles all ten ebooks!haha.I wouldn't be suprised if one day I'll bite one's neck and suck his blood!LOL!See yah!

Stupid-Clumsy-Me

Warning:The following might irritate you.Pure kaartehan and pasosyal kuno entry.

I was at the Araneta Center at Cubao yesterday for three reasons: first,to go to the Tommy authorized service center at farmers plaza, because my newly bought watch suddenly stopped working!I was like WTF! (what the fakk.O di ba alam ko na gamitin to!hehe) ,and secondly,to look for a lithium battery for our BenQ digicam,and third,to look for the four copy of Twilight Saga books!

I was wearing a white shirt from Girbaud,I'm such a sucker for white shirt,I don't know,maybe because its signifies purity of soul?LOL! Or maybe,it looks cool in the eyes,with our hot weather,white kinda gives me the cooling effect haha its so appealing to me especially if it got a nice print on it.I got some reds and blues too,but whites dominates my closets.Im not actually a fashionista or something.I just like my self to wear something simple and nice.Im not that extravagant on clothes.Unlike others who overdid themselves and like telling to the world:Im gay.LOL

I was there four o'clock and started looking for the service center,because you see,there's only three authorized service center for Tommy Hilfiger watches, one in Manila, one in Cebu city and one here at Cubao,since it was the only convenient place for me.It took me 30minutes to locate it hayyy!Im glad its not much as bad as I thought, the lady said, the battery drained, and I was like "huh?why?It was bought last February only!How could that be!" and she said "maybe the store didn't turn off the clock while it was on display or the stock room for a long time."

This is my watch.A gift from my close friend Sasha

Hmm,that made sense.Too glad that my two year warranty covered it.I showed her the booklet and the receipt and after a while I got my watch,fully functioning.Then I headed to look for the battery of our digicam,and failed to find it,i never thought BenQ cameras are hard to buy replacements!Its sucks!I looked everywhere.Damn it! (un sinusuot LOL)

I got hungry and headed to the nearest fast food.I got on my hands a tray full of my orders and I was holding a bag from my other hand,and suddenly the clumsy-stupid-me slided the glass of coke and spilled half of it at my white shirt!!!!!!!!Waaaaaaaa!!!!It looks like there's a large continent from half of my shirt!I was so pissed!What now?I thought to myself.I'm not cute anymore with this stain!LOL!And to think its still early its very obvious even if I'll try to hide it with my bag.I looked at the people around and was wondering whats running at their mind when they saw my little stupid accident while I'm looking for a vacant table to eat. I saw some might thinks"oh no,that's too bad..",some might thought"good for you,maarte ka kasi", some "such a clumsy guy" and some "he's just plain stupid".I lost my appetite already,I asked for a glass of water and tried to remove it using a tissue but none changed.I just ate and decided to buy a new shirt and change.

But where?I'm too far at the main mall.People will see my maps and continents!Is there a nearby decent store here?If I'm going to buy a new shirt might as well buy the best one.But i cant see one.And besides I thought I don't wanna buy a new clothes at all,I just bought a new one last month and I don't wanna use my credit card as well because I'm saving up for the twilight saga books!The third reason for being here!

A new thought flashed my brilliant mind!I'm going to buy a very cheap shirt at the first store I see!I found one at this store named Garment factory haha.There's a rack full of shirts and says P130 and P100 each.Perfect!My only problem was,would I really going to wear such a cheap shirt today?It will be very obvious that its cheap.

I saw the patrons of the store looking for something to buy...some looks like our maid,some looks a security guard,some like the tricycle driver,I'm having a dilemma!LOL!But i told myself I need to do this haha I need to save my money for the four books of Stephenie Meyer which cost 400 each and the digicam battery too.

So I crashed into the patrons, elbow to elbow and looked for the decent and nice looking shirt that will not look that it only cost a hundred pesos!haha.Success I found one!I'm really good in looking for clothes!(yabang!) I immediately went at the CR and changed from white Girbaud into this brown thing shirt and slid my white shirt into the disgusting plastic bag with the name of the store in it at my bag and headed at the National Bookstore and every bookstore I found.

The complete set of the Twilight Saga.I heard theres a fifth book coming.

After a while as expected all Twilight Saga books are sold out!I found one at FullyBooked but only New Moon was there.I want the complete book not just one.I was so sad and frustrated.And so tired too!Imagine I went from all of the mall inside the Araneta Center!

A Family Show

My mom called last night and told me its confirmed that she'll be going home next month...hep hep hep...hold your thought guys!not because of the recession,but to have her 30 days vacation hehe.We are so excited its been two years since we saw and hugged her.My nephew were just 2 years old then barely crawling the floor and now he's 4 and running around the house already!

That made me happy.I missed my mom so much.I don't know maybe being a bi or gay made it so natural to be super close to their mothers than their fathers.Mothers made it so easy for us,me being gay by being so understanding,so forgiving,so loving...At least she will be free from responsibilities from my uncle who is currently her problem at Dubai.

But there is one slight problem of her homecoming...my father.You see,mom and dad are not really together,like together-together anymore.They are separated but without the legality.I mean my mom is living her own life now without caring what my dad thinks.Its fine with us,I mean she deserves to be happy.And my dad was really hard to reasoned with.He have an impossible personality that no one could bear!We all see it coming.

You see,my mom don't have a problem not seeing my dad for many years since my dad was out of the country too and he have his yearly vacation every December and my mom every May,so its been a success avoiding him.My dad don't seems to take it,he's still hopeful,but my mom and I thought its hopeless.She told my sister too that there is no love left at all.

But this year its a totally different scenario.My dad quits his job last year.And his visa for another work hasn't come yet,so my mom cannot avoid the inevitable hehe.Seeing my dad and actually living together in one roof!That's exciting for us haha we don't know how my mom is gonna play this!

I mean will she be sleeping the same room with him?
or how is she going to tell him that its not what's he thinks looks like?
Will there be lots of fights?
For my dad they are still husband and wife.He's in denial,that gets me irritated.

This will be the much awaited event of the year.
Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.

Am I Evil?

This is a re-post.Well i guess many of you haven't read this post before.I wrote this last year when there's only three people reading my blog haha Berna and Sasha and a close friend, one I threatened to kill if he don't read them LOL.I just thought that you might want to see this,its about John.The only ex-bf that I wanted to come back to if given a chance.(till now?maybe..)

I did a lot of awful and shameful things in the past,you know,I did some shoplifting at a bookstore when I was 14,I didn't pay a jeep ride when I was 16,and the driver knew haha he kept on saying"o yung mga di pa bayad jan magbayad na"haha.But nothing can compare to what I did to my ex-boyfriend's boyfriend.I had sex with him to get back at him for not taking me back!Got it?

Lets put it this way,I'll name my ex bf as john,and the other guy is Joshua,before me,John and Joshua are lovers for a year,when they broke up I met John and we became boyfriends for 4 months,but Joshua kept on texting on John,how he still cares for him,but John didn't care at all,he's happy with me.And then we broke up,my fault I admit,but after 2 weeks I realized I cant live without John in my life that I love him still,so I asked him to give me another chance,he refused.I was hurt.This happened about 3-4 years ago.

After 2 weeks maybe,I texted him again,and he said to me, "me and Joshua are back together",I felt my heart was broken into pieces,I felt betrayed,to think Joshua left him for another guy in the past that caused their break up then.He's a two timer I said to him.And here I am showed him good things and loved him so much in our relationship,we fought big time that caused our break up,but I asked for another chance and yet he refused me,I mean I thought I didn't deserved it.

So I thought of a brilliant plan,an evil plan.I want John to regret choosing Joshua over me.And for him to realize that he's not really the faithful type of guy.Good thing I had Joshua's number,I stole it from John secretly because I'm annoyed of him texting my bf.I texted him,pretended I'm looking for a text mate,he didn't know me and had no idea I was John's ex bf.So he fell for my trap,we kept on texting without John knowing it,so I thought he's really not the trustworthy type,I was happy that I'm having my revenge at John.

After a week of texting and chatting,I invited him to meet and he agreed, and we went to Festival mall alabang,along the way riding the van,we were holding hands through out the travel time.I was seducing him.We ate and talk and I asked him if he wants to stay the night with me,he said,why not,so we checked in at Sogo Hotel.And Oh Lord... he's too hot and sexy!He is hairy all over,his chest,his groin,his legs,i cant believe I'm having sex with this guy,my ex-bf's current bf!I took some pictures and videos of us together,kissing torridly and hugging... my proof that we're together,another part of my plan.

This is his actual picture when were inside the motel room.Look at that hairy body...I still remember how it felt like when Im on top of him.Yummy!

Till now I cant forget how his body feels,the muscles,the hairs,he's good in bed,its really great!One of the best I had,maybe because it was a stolen and I had a hidden agenda with it,or that he have what I love about a guy:body hairs!!I don't know!haha.By the way he is a bottom!Anyway I'll skip the details,OK,I don't want my blog to be labeled some adult rated site.We spent the whole night together and he still dont have any idea who I am or what I'm doing till we went home.I knew he had a good time.I was wearing a devil's smile in my lips.Success.

After a week I texted John,I asked him I still want him back that Joshua don't deserve him,I said he's not honest with him and that he cant be trusted,he said

"you only want to destroy our relationship"
" what if I have some proof that he spent a night with me?"I told him
"oh really?don't make me laugh!"

He said I'm just bluffing,then I sent the most daring picture of us kissing and half naked, our picture of Joshua together through MMS

He said "damn you!Get lost!Fuck you!How could you do this to me!!!"

I don't know what to feel then,I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.I kept on telling myself he deserved it.He put it upon himself.He shouldn't have hurt me and choose that looser over me.But I can't feel really happy.I'm hurting too.I hurt him I know and his hurt are crossing through me,I love him so much.

I felt the guilt big time.I'm a bad ass!One consolation I have was,at least I made my point that Joshua cant be trusted.A player.A two-timer.I did him good favor.I wanna laugh at my thought haha.Then Joshua texted me he cursed me and said I'm a loser!He said he and John are over thanks to me.

"if I've known you were his ex I should have killed you!" he said
"haha whatever dude!have a happy life.You're pathetic!"I replied

And i said to myself,mission accomplished...after many years,it was Christmas,I texted John and asked him how is he and he said he's OK and he's with a new bf and that they are on their 8 months...it still hurts like hell till that time.I said could he forgive me?

"yeah I already did but i can't be friends with you,don't text me anymore..."

(*FYI- I already moved on.This was 4 years ago.I just wanted to share you this story.So that you will know what to do next time when your bf ditched you.LOL!Im just kidding ok!hehe)

Robert and Taylor

I saw this video, well kinda old,this was last November I guess a lot of you have seen this already haha,but its my first time so whatevah and it was so fun seeing both Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner together at the Tyra Show,I did have a lot of fun watching this.(kinilig ako!LOL)They are so gorgeous!But I'm a little bothered though,Taylor is so small!How could he be fit for Jacob Black???



Sorry guys I dont have much to share to you since im so busy reading "Eclipse" haha.Maybe next time I have something interesting.Ciao!

Inlove With Jacob Black

I'm not a book person in fact the first and only book i bought and read was "The DA Vinci Code" because everyone was talking about how good it was and very controversial at that time so I got curious that led me to finally read a book.Until I saw "Twilight",i was so in love with the movie and I cant wait for the second movie "New Moon" to be shown,imagine it will be release this coming November!I cant wait any longer to know what happened next!

So I looked for a copy at every bookstore but to no avail!All sold out after they were displayed!Waaaaa!I'm too lazy to go to Manila to get a copy.So I settled for the next best thing:an ebook.Thanks to this blogger from ebook-depot,I downloaded all 4 books of Stephenie Meyer for free!hehehe.New Moon was so good!I fell in love with Jacob Black!

Taylor Lautner a.k.a Jacob Black.Look at his yumminess!He's perfect for the role!I hope he's tall enough,because in the book Jacob is so tall and so big and hunky.I cant believe that he's the same guy from that kiddie movie "shark boy and lava girl"

His character in this book was so big,unlike in the first that you hardly notice him.I thought the whole book will focus on them and no Edward at all.I was beginning to forget about him and want Jacob for Bella.His love for Bella was so strong that I thought I'm Bella already while reading LOL! I hope that Taylor Lautner will give Jacob Black's character justice.

My favorite part was when Jacob stopping Bella to go to Italy with Alice to save Edward from committing suicide by the help of this very powerful family of vampires thinking Bella was dead and that Jacob knew Bella might be killed in the process.His tears are building up while stopping her and asking her "don't die" and with so much emotions that he cant control he turned into a werewolf...ohhh I love it!

Now I'm into the third book,"Eclipse" i hope this is as good as the first two.Here's more of Taylor's photos,I cant get enough of him!I will wank later looking at these!LOL

Gay Childhood II

Bert and I

I was so grateful for Bert's company,he plays with me almost everyday, we're like the best of friends, we tried all possible game to play. No “Kupalan” this time though hehe. He would stopped by at our house so that we could get to school together. And we would talk about anything, everything.

After school he would say "Mac,lets play later.I'll be at your house" and I was so excited what game should we play. I was like 8 or 9 years old then. We will play at our front yard at the soil we will make roads for our small cars and trucks and it was all fun. I got so possessive of him I don't know, one time I enjoyed so much playing with him when he said "I got to go ,its late" and I replied "what? if you go now I wont speak with you ever again!" and he'll stay.

I felt like I was in control of him, that gave me the satisfaction. That means he don’t want me to get mad at him, I felt important. Until his mom picked him up and scolded and spanked him "its so late why didn't you go home huh?!" and he cried I felt guilty. Its my fault. His mom and my mom are like the best of friends by the way.

One time I invited him to play and he agreed. But he never came, I later found out he was playing with this other kid. I got so mad. I didn't speak with him when he was talking to me.I ignored him. Its my punishment at him .It took 2 days, until I was at our yard playing alone and he run passed by at me and he threw a rock wrapped in a paper .I picked and opened it.

There was a note in the paper:

“Please forgive me.”


Young Threesome

Then I went to his house and found him sitting at their couch alone. I invited him to play and everything was back to normal.Not until one afternoon,we were at my room and his elder brother Dondie came.He was a year older.

Next thing I knew we’re all not wearing our pants!haha.I actually cant remember what we are talking about prior to that and led to it!I just knew that we’re so horny.My god me and Bert was only 9 years old then!We’re all uncircumcised and its so funny!Its like there’s three ant eaters in my room!LOL

It’s a part of Philippine culture that you have to be circumcised before you reached age 12 or something. So my foreign readers don’t be offended. Here, others thought that if you’re uncut they would tease you and would think you are less of a man, I don’t know, I later found out that many men not just here but around the world are uncircumcised.

Back to my story, all I can remember was, Dondie put his penis at my butt and he was just pressing it there and I could feel the raging heat radiating from that part of him, I did it to him too.It was so good. I don’t know where did we get that idea I mean I never seen a porn movie that time!

When its Bert’s turn, I was on my knees and like were on a doggie position when another kid showed out! Its Rick !My neighbor who have a big mouth and a certified bully! He saw us and at my disadvantage! He have proof now that I'm really gay! Because its looks like I’m the one who do the bottoming haha.


Bestfriend No More

Next thing I knew the whole school knew about it! And I cant even show my face to everyone! I didn’t go to school for about 2 days until my mom scolded me and have no choice but to go back. Bert started to be distant, he have a new set of friends now, and I'm left alone, with girls to play with now.

Until we were in high school. He’s like a totally different person, I missed him.I missed my best friend,that he used to be.But I already accepted it a long time ago, since I was 12 years old,that I will never get him back. And I was so surprised that after so many years, just last year,we're both 28years old, he asked me to be his daughter’s godfather…and that gave me tears when I'm alone…

at least he never really forget…

Gay Childhood

When did you realize you were gay?

When I was growing up I always think there's something wrong with me.I was in grade two,I grew up shy,very close to my mom,I play inside the house with my sister,I only have one friend,Bert.Who is very straight by the way hehe.I have a hard time blending with other boys,I always have this feeling that why cant I naturally join them when they play or hang out....it was so difficult for me.I tried so hard to be accepted,but my classmates knew that I'm not like them,they tease,they call me names...
I end up playing with my girls classmates,you know,playing Chinese garter (so gay!LOL), jack stone, paper dolls!which I'm so good at designing their clothes haha.But i enjoy playing cars and airplane too with Bert,he used to come to our house to ask me to play,he was my best friend back then,we go to the same classroom from grade 1 to high school.God knows I really tried so hard to be straight.I don't want it.I get so mad when someone call me "gay".

My dad was a complete reminder of that,he suspected that I'm gay and he's so furious whenever he sees me with some signs and symptoms of gayness!LOL. He was so happy when he sees me playing with Bert,one time,i said to Bert "I'm already circumcised" and he was like"really?I don't believe you!let me see!"And I showed my uncut penis at him! "nah!stop fooling around!you're supot pa like me!" and I was like "can I see yours?" at that time there's only the two of us.

We sat there at the corner pants down and both inspecting our penises!I pulled the foreskin and saw the whitish smelly thing on top of it "kupal" he said(smegma) I swiped it with my finger and put on his nose!haha.He did the same and I run,its so grosse!Good thing I have more kupal to put at his nose and chased him again!LOL. I called that game kupalan!hahaha

There was this time,when my mom was taking a nap one afternoon,I wore her old maternity clothes and put some towels inside my tummy and played like pregnant woman!My sister was the doctor and I enjoyed it so much that I got so carried away with the role play "push...push...its coming"my sister said,when I'm about to deliver the baby I screamed so loud like I was really in pain giving birth!"arayyyyy!ang sakitt!!!!"

I forgot that my mom was at the next room and sleeping!next thing I knew she rushed into us and spanked me using her dirty slippers!haha "why are you like that??you really want to get pregnant?!wanna be gay huh!" she scolded me so loud that I cried.Hmmm,memories of my childhood haha.Till college I was in denial,I don't look so gay,I acted straight.I kept on telling my self I'm not gay,i wanna be straight and all,but its useless fighting it,I think I was born this way,and no matter what I do or try to do nothing can change that.
After college that's when I finally told myself.I had enough.I'm tired of pretending.This is me.I'm not straight,hate me or love me.Taray!LOL! I realized being gay was not always have to be dressing up like a big fag or be girly. I still have attraction to women and men.(I had a gf before) I don't wanna wear make ups and all. I like my d*ck and I like fcking other gay men.

Filipino gay are so afraid to be called gay.They get so defensive.They wanna be called bi's. Even if many of them haven't been with a girlfriend or have any interest in girls at all!Duh!Why not search the word bisexual?Discreet gay or a gay guy will be fine.OK?!

Three Poll Questions

This is the result of my two months poll question at my sidebar.I have been putting up these poll to see what people reading my blog thinks about.Here lets see

Poll question number one:
Where did you met your partner/bf?

*at the chatroom-32 votes
*at a bar-5 votes
*saw him somewhere and introduced my self-10 votes
*he was my friend-10 votes
*at a public comfort room-3 votes

total votes -60

Reaction - at least I'm not alone.Most of my dates and some relationships are from chat rooms too.They say that there's no good finding someone in the cyber space but I disagree there are some nice guy out there and are like me looking for special relationship.And of course there are some assholes too.hehe

And i think Filipinos are not that used to the idea of following a guy he saw somewhere and introduced himself and hooking up.Maybe we are still shy.Me either I cant do it!haha.Maybe those so sure of themselves and those good looking guys can do this.

Poll question number two:
Did you ever cheated with your partner and remained a secret?
*Yes! - 33 votes
*No! - 16 votes
*I told him about it and left me -2 votes
*I told him about it and forgive me -5 votes

total votes -56

Reaction - This is a surprised result for me!hahaI cant believed it!Most of them are unfaithful.How could they look their partners in the eyes knowing they fuck or hook up with someone!I mean is this normal to gay men to be unfaithful?is it expected because we are naturally a man?

I believe in karma.That if you cheat most probably you'll get cheated too.So goodluck with that!

Poll question number three:
Please choose I'm gay and I'm...
*Out -29 votes
*Still in the closet -31 votes
*Confused -11 votes

total votes -71

Reaction - A close one hehe.I see this coming.I know there are a lot more in the closet, they just didn't bother to vote.There are lot of factors to consider going out.Family,friends,and work.It will only complicate things for them,that's why they cant come out.Those that are already out should feel lucky that they passed that phase in their life and lets us try to understand them.Its hard for them already and lets not add to their burdens by judging them.

Everyone has their reasons and beliefs.Walang pakialaman!LOL
I'm not totally out too.But my family already knew.We don't talk about it.But i know they knew.A few close friends too.Its just that I don't feel the need to shout it out to the world.If they ask me,I'll say yeah I'm not straight.If they don't,I just let it be,until they ask hehe.

Open Relationship?Duh!

PM was the last guy I dated.He is a Chief resident doctor at Muntinlupa and I met him at the chatroom.We've been chatting for a while and he wants me to be his bf even if he hasn't met me yet!Duh!I thought to myself,this guy is such in a hurry haha!And I got the impression that he is not what I'm looking for,the serious bf that you could bring home to Mama!If you know what I mean.

I lose the interest in him after that.But he came back and this time a little sensible hehe.He is now playing hard to get and I was like OK what is your game now.So now I'm the one pursuing him and we're texting more often,and we decided to meet at Alabang Town Center one Sunday afternoon.He was already there 30 minutes earlier than me,I'm late.Traffic.We almost wear the same clothes!haha.

I mean not literally,I was wearing this poloshirt and shorts and so was he!I think we're just wearing different brands and colors.The only difference was I wore it better LOL! PM is smaller than me I guess he stands 5'4" but i like his fair skin.Neat.Like any doctor I'm used to seeing.An average looking guy.One thing I noticed about him was,he is silent.He told me beforehand that he seldom talk.Shy and a silent type.

I'm the one who does the talking.If I don't speak at all we're just like inside a Vatican church!I didn't like that date!I'm bored to death!We ate at Burger King and ate his sundae and I noticed he's shivering haha he said he's cold!We went outside and stroll a little bit he put his arms at my shoulders and people might think he's my bf.

I took it off when I got the chance but he put it back.What the pakk!I thought to myself OK,whatev.He's still silent.Next time I'll add to my NO-NO list of possible dates:No silent types guys next to no oversensitive guys.hehehe.We went at Powerbooks store and look around.While I was flipping a magazine he came near me and held my hand discreetly.I looked around too glad people are busy doing their own business.

I give in.Its just my hand.He then wrapped his arms around my waist and he was like hugging me from the back!Hmmm,should I go away from him?I thought to myself.But I didn't.I don't know,I like his smell,his soft body and smooth skin near mine.and I had a hard on its obvious at my thin short hahaha I tried to hid it and think of anything to divert my attention.

Its obvious he's teasing me.My last sexual encounter was like a month ago(with my friend with benefits Randall who is now attending a seminar at Cebu city by the way!) Someone came near us and he moved away a little bit.I sighed thank God.When he got the chance he wrapped around his arms around my waist again and slipped his hands at my belly on top of my briefs.

And my manhood was throbbing like crazy!It want to come out and be stroked!LOL.I was gathering all of my self control to asked him for a room!I don't want an SEB, its against my rule and principles.I asked him to go to the open park of the mall instead.We sat there for a while and he said:
"would you like to have an open relationship with me?"
I said "what do you mean?"
"you know we are boyfriends but we could still see other guys"
And I was like "really?no I don't think I can do that."
He said "OK"
I was totally turned off!I mean my God he is 32 years old,a doctor and yet he can't do a serious relationship!He's not acting like his age.He is not 20 or something.Get what I mean?Not that I wanted it with him I mean I don't like his silent personality to begin with and now an open relationship?!And my manhood went from hard to jelly soft!hahaha.After a while I said I gotta to go.He walked me outside the mall and went home.He texted me while at the van to take care.

Relatives...Relatives...

I'm pissed.
Aunt who is here in Laguna asking for money again from my MOM.
Mom is sick in Dubai.Working extra time.
Why?She needed extra money to support my jobless uncle with her.
Why jobless?Due to other Filipinos who do nothing but to hurt one's reputation due to envy or to gain selfish ambitions.
And because he is jobless,there are unpaid loans.
He was put behind bars at Dubai.
Mom paid for his bail.More than a hundred thousand.
Where did my mom get all those money?Answer:working too hard and asking for friends to lend her money.Mom was problematic till now.She's helping uncle pays the remaining credits.Plus their everyday needs.
So Mom have big debts now thanks to uncle.
Why uncle have so many loans?Answer:He petitioned his crazy wife and kid to be at Dubai.
You know,the house,the schooling of the kid once they get there.All of it.Cost a lot.
The crazy wife of my uncle,was not happy and decided and insisted on going back to her beloved country.Philippines.
So now all of the effort and money used to get them was wasted.
And now,my super kind mother is the one suffering through all of that.
For this I wanna kill the crazy wife.LOL!
Since mom is so kind to relatives who are in need of money in Laguna
She looked for jobs for her two niece and fly them at Dubai.
When they got there,the other one was so lazy that her employer wanted her out.
And the other niece run away from employer.
The employer get back at my mom and wanted a refund for all the expenses.
Totally great!Right?So now I wanted to kill those nieces too!
So now I'm pissed.
Going back to the aunt whose here at Laguna
My mom is the one buying her medications.Monthly she receives money for it.
Mom asked us to give an amount to her since aunt said to my mom she's no money to buy foods!
Aunt is still strong and an expert seamstress.An old maid.
We asked her to moved in to us so that she wont have to worry about foods.
She refused!Great!
So maybe you already know what I wanted to do to her too right?LOL!

I mean come on!My mom have a lot of things going there right now,and she's sick maybe she don't visit a doctor because of those responsibilities she have with her relatives and wanted to save money!Damn them!All they do is ask and ask.Didn't they realized my mom had enough!Relatives thought once some one's working abroad that they have a lot of resources and no problems at all!

Its a good thing we are not adding burdens to my mom.We have a small Internet shop.My dad bought a passenger jeep and our hired driver gives us boundary everyday.And my sister's husband at Saudi always helps to our finances.Once I got my visa I will insist that mom to go home and leave all of those relatives at Dubai at their own!

Relatives are fun.But sometimes they are headaches too!And its pains me to have a kind Mother too!Wish she knows how to say NO too.I love you MOM.

Disappointed

"I like you Mac"
"I like you too.You will be a great friend.." (ek ek ko lang)
"Hell no!I don't wanna be just your friend!I want more than that!"

I smiled while reading his reply at YM.I smiled so big that you could see the gray matter inside my brain!LOL! I just know him two nights ago,at a chat room.Where else! After endless chatting he called me and we had a great time talking,his voice is so nice and sweet.I already knew I like this guy,let me give him a name:LJAS.That's his initials.He looks great too we exchange facebooks accounts that night.He said Im cute and I was like "oh,stop it..im not...(*blushing) and added "hilahin ko titi mo jan e! haha kidding! I didn't said that!You know me.

He wanted to see me this week but i declined.Maybe next week when I go to makati.He has a great job I googled his name and so surprised with so much things about him!I felt so little compared to what he accomplished! I mean,who am I compared to this person?Im just a "promdi" who works at a hospital and currently bumming!BEAT THAT!haha

At the middle of our conversation I told him that I was planning to leave the country,that my visa are currently being processed.I wanna be honest with him and I noticed that it bothered him. "So if ever you'll leave me soon..." and I told him "yeah,in the coming month(s)" I added " I may have a few months so lets make the most out of it,and if ever are u willing to have a long distance relationship?" me myself are not convinced that if ever it will work.

But who knows!Maybe,maybe not.But still worth the try I thought to myself.He said "why not,I never done it before maybe I can do it!" and I was like relieved that he is optimistic.But still its too early to tell!We haven't met in person yet for God's Sake and I was thinking long distance relationships already!haha.This is what I hate about myself,I always thinks ahead.Thinking about whats next even if I haven't accomplished the first work yet!Which leaves me disappointed in the end.I wanna change this attitude.

He works for a US base magazine and he' s so busy.That is what bothering me.I missed him.He said when he got a second to talk to me that he misses me and that he'll make it out with me once everything with work is OK.Hayyy,its been two days now and he's still busy.Maybe he just realized that he don't want someone who will leave in the first place.I just have to stop expecting that he's into me after all.

No text.No call.Nothing.haha I sounded like a demanding boyfriend!Stop!Stop!Mac!

Another disappointment.Another one down.I just wish he could be honest with me.I just thought he's worth getting to know with.Or maybe I thought he's a best candidate to be my bf.I erased him at my list already.There's no good keeping his account.But I'm OK its not that I have break up or something haha.

"Nag iinarte lang ako.SEB ANYONE? LOL"