Are you close to your father? -I'm not.
Do you love your father? -I don't.
Do you hate your father? -not anymore.
I know you're curious about my answers.
Well, me and my dad had a very long history of disagreements and fights. We have this great big wall between us, its too late to break it now. Even if he's trying to reach out for me, I just can't restart all over it again with him.
I just can't find it in my heart.
When I was a kid: I like to watch Variety shows. That time it was Sharon Cuneta's variety show! LOL! (Blame my mom she idolized her!)
He gets mad at me. He wants me to watch NBA or PBA!
I like staying home and read magazines and gossips and celebrities and all. He gets mad. He wants me to play with the boys outside.
He wants me to play ball....But I played my friend's balls. LOL
For him, its a disappointment to have a son like me. He can never accept me. He was embarrased of me. His friends....his brothers...all teased him to have a "malamya son" like me.
So he will get back at me.
He yelled at me. I yelled at him.
He said fucked you. I said fuck you too.
He pushed me. I pushed him back.
Everyday was like hell for many years.
Mom, defended me. They would fight.
I left home and lived with my aunts. He would check me out, because my mom wanted him to.
I hate him so much then. I wanted to put him in an elderly home when he reached old age and will let him rot in hell. And not attend his funeral.
Many years have passed. I'm older. He's older....somehow I felt, that he accepted my preferences.
I forgave him.
I saw change in him.
I see him everyday.
But he's just an ordinary person to me now...
Like a neighbor...
Like a boarder at home....
He's nice too me.
But I'm just civil.
He asked something. I answer. Just One word.
I assessed my self. I'm not angry anymore. I just don't feel anything about him.
We can't be friends.
If he dies, maybe... I'll cry.
One things is for sure.
I'll die for my Mom.
This is a re-post from February of 2009. Exactly three years ago. Funny, I still feel the same way about him.